Today I lose control. I end up crying at the dining table. Infront of my meal. Infront of my dad. I notice that I no longer tell stories. No longer laughing and make stupid jokes. Instead of talk or giving response. I just.. keep myself silent. Doing some business online stuff is kinda hard. Especially when you are having a hard time but at the same time need your head to think straight. I felt myself no longer have feelings. They more to negative side. Which makes me nervous, lack of sleep, often felt tired and feel like throwing up. I am no longer happy with my work.
Ya Allah. Please. Give me some strength. I don’t want to lose now.
I don’t want to burden my friends with my problems. I’m often express my feeling through writing. I felt less burden. I can recall my hard time. Reading it makes me realise how much I’ve been through.
Dear me. Please stays in shape. Nobody would understand you. Only you understand you.
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