Up and down

Sometimes. I feel like I want to run from the reality. Especially when the problems relate to your family. They might seen you happy. They might seen you had no problems. But no. We're human too. Don't expect to much. We do fight. We do scream each others sometimes. And this is what I hate the most. Holding to myself. Trying to feel that everything  is alright while actually is not. Is too mainstream. I crash myself. I bleed. I cannot stand. Crying whole night. Family. The one you only had. From you were born. The one you hug and kisses of feeling happy and grateful for each others. The one who share the deepest problems. The one who hold each others hand at night. The one who cry together with you. Why do need to be like this? Can we least. Remember the moment we had together back then. I miss our laugh. Our joy. Our smile. Please. I need us. I hoping for us. I need my family... Oh please. Don't fight..