And I hope you understand.

I'm okay. I'm fine. Wake up every morning like there's nothing happen. Only taught that last night was only a nightmare and wishing it was only a dream. And when you wake up, it's like a brand new thing. Whispering to myself. That everything is going to be fine. Like always. And always. Trust yourself. Even though sometimes I feel like crying out aloud. Thinking that nobody would really understand me. So I remain silent. And just let the smile shows and hidden all the pain that I've been through this past few days. But deep down inside. Still hoping that someone would really come and hug me. And say this word to me. That I'm strong enough to handle this. That, it's okay to cry. It's okay to tell people about your pain. And tell me how much this world really meant for me. And let me stand on my own feet. And keep giving me little hope that they are here for me. Bitter and pain. Swallow down to throat. Down to my tiny heart. And need to remind myself again and again and again that. People are busy with their own life. They had much more things important need to do that care about you. And part of it are blame things on me. And some might be misunderstood. And how can you explain this again? I'm the one who hold everything. And somehow I feel like I'm out of my limit. It's not like I'm giving up. I just... Need a shoulder to cry. And hear me crying without asking me why. And just let me calm. And hold my arms. Don't you know that I'm a human too? 

It's hurt when you struggle for both side. They said. I'm weak. Don't you know I've been in pain since my childhood day? And how things get worsen day by day? And how I won't ever let anybody knows that I'm in pain? But still people put blame on you. I care too much for people they said. And kind too. That is just what my parent taught me when I was kid. 

Again


I just want to cry. May I ? Without anybody asking me why. And lend a me a shoulder and giving me some sweet smile. And tell me that everything is alright and it's okay to do so....